cool, clear....water

For the first time in our 17 years of marriage, we have a refrigerator with a connected water line, dispensing cool, clear, water...

Cost of water line and assorted fittings: $12
Number of panicked phone calls to Eric: 1
Leaks caused and repaired during install: 2
Ability to access water in the fridge door just in time for the 3 day fast: Priceless.

Eat your heart out, Bob Villa.

Gun Club Minutes

The Royal Order of the Gun Club convened this morning after a prolonged absense by yours truly. The meeting was reconfigured to allow for a Thursday Gathering, as Friday mornings are now tied up by several members attending an ongoing class on Reloading Shotgun Shells at Cabelas.

Our Thursday meeting caused the barista to go into meltdown, blurting out "Is it Friday? Why are you guys here?"

Topics covered:

• Tire swings and the constitutional right to private property as relating to airspace.
• Floridian sharks vs. Alaskan sharks
• Can an otherwise very bright individual periodically slip up and have a frighteningly dangerous idea involving a deflated air mattress and the tailpipe of a running vehicle. An animated discusssion ensued.

Meeting adjourned. Peace out, peeps.

I have a new favorite perch.

Generally my early AM's are spent on a corner of our couch in a darkened living room, lights low, with the sound of an occassional car driving past the house.

This era has ended. I think.

My new favorite perch is in the kitchen, sitting on a stool at the bar. None of this was possible until this morning, because yesterday we finally got the countertop installed! Even more fun, we now have a sink, a dishwasher, and running water in the kitchen. Take that, Laura Ingalls!

Since late May/early June, we've been sans kitchen. It's been so long ago that there is some debate about the actual date, sort of how your Uncle Louie can't remember if it was the flood of '63 or '64 that took out the old bridge. Anyway, months ago, we destroyed the kitchen (intentionally) and we're nearing the end of the road back.

All we need now is a little paint, some tile backsplash, a finished ceiling and some very funky lights hung. We love these lights. They make the bar look like the bridge for Star Trek. Or I can sit at the bar and pretend to be a news anchor man, broadcasting into the dining area.

And that's the news from our house. Have a great day. (fade to prayer room...)

More wedding photos...

"Randy, Randy, puleeeeze show me more photos of Evan and Ellen's wedding!'

"Forget it. You're going to have to go to Jenny's blog instead."


Great shots, Jen! Except for the quirky pastor in the Father Mulcahy shirt.

before the sunrise

Traditionally, I awake at 4:50am with two things on my mind: Coffee and information.

After five or six hours of down time, my brain begs for stimuli; for the news of the earth and the caffiene to supercharge the processing of that information. I cruise about 10 websites, a blend of news network and newspapers. By 5:35, I am warmed by the cup of coffee and thoughts of the events of the world.

Not lately.

Recently, I've been awakened in the wee hours with another craving, not of body, but of spirit. I suddenly care less about getting the facts of the days events correct and more about getting to the reality behind the facts - what the Spirit is saying and whether or not I can hear it or not.

I'm turning ever so slightly, sails fully extended, catching the slightest breeze of change. Even so, to my soul it feels like a full-on gale. God is on the move. I dread that I might miss Him because I'm more intrigued by the curl of the waves than I am the wind of the Spirit.

So here I am, God. Come. Come and visit. It's all I really want. Even while I sleep.

two years ago today...

This afternoon, Tom Mills reminded me that two short years ago, we were rocketing down this road in a caravan that included a rental minivan, two rental cars, a large rv and a semitruck full of water (and beef jerkey, and chicken, and camping gear, and...) en route to Burning Man.

We had spent the previous day in Reno, Nevada, where at the last minute, the team members who were responsible for bringing the grill admitted that they...uh, didn't have one. We made a last minute run to Home Depot where I freaked out the poor 17 year old kid who was working the Gas Grill aisle by purchasing a little countertop grill and immediately hacking it with spare parts to accept 25lb propane tank.

I was instant messaging with BM's Marian Goodell a few minutes ago - apparantly it's pretty dusty out there. (I will pause to allow the shock to set it...).

Anyhow, the Burners are back at it this week. You can see TV Free Burning Man for daily video updates. No guarantees.

Tom is praying the men's bike club doesn't appear on screen. Or the woman who kept yelling for her vodka.

Extra Bonus Points for anyone who can name what that desert car at left started out as....click on the photo to enlarge.

Anyway, pray for the Burners tonight.

The Study of Ideas

TED is a group of thinkers who center on the ideas of technology, entertainment and design. Each year, their group of 1000 gather in Montery, CA to talk about creativity and other ideas. It is Disneyland for pointyheaded types and one day I would love to be invited.

I've been surfing the TED conference website and ran across these two speakers - Rick Warren and Dan Dennett - with two very different takes on the meaning of life. If you can handle listening to people who disagree, you'll enjoy listening to these back to back.

Warren gives his standard "You were born for a purpose" talk. It's good stuff. Not e=mc2 by any stretch of the imagination, but valid nonetheless. I'll admit, it sounds a little tired in places, as if he could have phoned it in with more enthusiasm than he musters sitting in the chair on the stage, but it's still very good.


Then it hits the fan. Dennett calls the Purpose Driven Life "brilliant..." even while appearing to throw the intellectual smackdown on the poor guy.

In refference to the book and Warren's approach in general, Dennett says it's

"...a brilliant redesign of traditional religious themes, updating them, quietly dropping the obsolete features, putting new interpretations in place, this is the evolution of religion that has been going on for thousands of years and he's just the latest brilliant practitioner of it."

Dropping the hammer, he says...

"I wish he could do this with a revision of the book...the truth will set you free. My problem is...some of the bits in it, I don't think are true."

Dennett actually seems to smoke his time picking the book to pieces based on comments like "I don't agree with him there...".

If anything, we learn this....if there's going to be a disagreement between to panel speakers, dude, you want to go last, not first.

Rick Warren certainly doesn't need a defense from me, but Dennett comes of looking kind of goofy. I think he has a few semi-valid points, but most of his talk is nitpicky and condescending. He also goes nowhere in offering an alternate answer to the great questions of life...just expresses his distast for Christianity's conclusions.

Of course, he invites Warren to do a rebuttal but the video cuts off. My guess is Warren wasn't even there and the invitation was grandstanding.

Rick Warren's video is here.
Dan Dennett's video is here.

home again

It was a mad dash from Cincinnati to Dayton this morning, for breakfast with Kelsey's aunt, uncle, two cousins and a cousin-in-law (I just made that term up, but I know that you're tracking with me...).

We had a great time hanging out at Bob's and hearing of her cousin's husband's mishaps while doing an 1,800 sq foot addition to their home. It turns out he was breaking up concrete in the garage floor with a Bobcat and inadvertently sent a substantial chuck of concrete sailing through the garage wall, into the house. Blane said "It couldn't just punch a hole...no, it had to destroy a 2x4 stud on the way through!" He also had much to say about his drywallers having intermittent knowledge of English. Sometimes it was perfect, other times....no comprendo.

After breakfast we raced from Dayton to Indy, only to find out our plane was delayed. We finally landed in Kansas City around 5:30pm. It is great to be home.

This evening, I made some updates to RandyandKelsey.com:

• A new downloadable mp3 of Kelsey's session at the IHOP Prophetic Conference a few weeks back. It's entitled Living a Prophetic Lifestyle & it's outstanding.
  
• Details on our upcoming Omega Intensive in East Tennessee, Sept 28-30, with Murray and Deborah Hiebert.
  
• A few photos of our Adoption Benefit Dinner. By the way, the home study is finished! We are continuing to raise the necessary funds and twitching when the phone rings because we literally do not know the day or the hour....
  

Go there to see and hear it all.

All Snazzed Up

We just got back from Evan & Ellen's wedding.

We had a fantastic time - it had a cool 'vintage' theme, with some of the best music in the history of ever - both for the ceremony and the reception. I was standing up front waiting for Ellen to walk down the aisle as a little jazz combo played "The Way You Look Tonight" and was stunned to glance over and realize it was live. I figured for sure it was on cd.

Ellen was the webgirl at the Cincinnati Vineyard. We were both new and she was my go-to girl for anything in the art or web department.

Evan was on my '04 Burning Man team. He is pictured here shortly after we convinced the nice man that it would be helpful if he loaded our 10,000 bottles of water onto the Ryder truck for us.

The wedding was quite the shindig. I officiated - my first wedding in a while - and had a blast doing it. They were a great couple to work with! Pamela did a bang up job making sure we all stood in the right place. It was so much fun to be working with the Vineyard peeps again - Ed Hatke, tech coordinator extraordinaire, was even there to make sure my funky headset worked perfectly. Ah, how well I remember those days....(expressing angst regarding IHOP's aversion to wireless mics...).

My only complaint would be the heat at the beginning of the ceremony - it was outdoors, and I literally had rivulets of sweat pouring off my shaved noggin on all sides, including into my eyes. I was sure I looked like Michael Jordan shooting free throws in the 4th quarter of the playoffs. Apparently it didn't look as bad as it felt, which is good, because it felt horrible.

Kelsey and I had the great pleasure of sitting with Caleb & Jenny Powell - also IHOPers who we never seem to get to actually hang with back at IHOP, so we meet here, 600 miles away. Nevertheless, it was fun. Caleb and I were raised in parrallell universes, so we talked motorcycle wrecks involving handguns and how to convert your Rabbit to run on Veggie Oil. The girls just stared at us, in awe of the breadth of knowledge that we both possess. Or something.

Also in related news, Jackson looked quite spiffy as well, sporting the rumpled jacket look with curly locks of hair heading all directions. This young man heads off to school on Monday at Christ Prep, which is a combo class room and home school gig. Grayson will go as well.

I'm tired. Good night.

Hi Uncle Ben....

Turns out that Tom Planck of tomplanck.com fame is in Nashville, where he ran into my Uncle Ben. :) Hello to the both of you!

Happy as a clam...

Why is this man smiling? Because he's happy as a clam to be working with Pamela Lucas again, even if only on one event. Pamela was one of a trio of uber-assistants that I had at the Cincy Vineyard, and my first ever real live paid staff person. Even back then she was smart as a whip and big fun to work with.

Here we are, a few laps around the sun later. I'm doing a wedding for some friends and she's directing the whole shebang, with excellence as usual. Note the clipboard in her hand, complete with highlighted handouts and little stars (mine is red, so I know where to stand...)

The rehearsal tonight was as if we'd never missed a beat.

She asked "How do you want to run this?"

I said "Just like the old days. Tell me what to do, where to stand and when to start talking."

Good to see you, Pammy!

This will not survive.

The Enquirer - 'Survivor' to divide along ethnic lines: "At the start of the reality show's 13th edition, 'Survivor: Cook Islands,' 20 contestants will be organized into four tribes divided along ethnic lines - black, white, Hispanic and Asian. The tribes, as usual, will merge later in the season, which debuts Sept. 14."

1) Survivor is still on TV? I didn't know.

2) This is the dumbest writers' idea since Fonzie jumped the shark. Does anyone really think this will lead to greater racial tolerance? I can't even imagine describing an episode without sounding dumb. "Hey, did you see the black guys beat the asian guys at ______?"

note to self

A tan Mercury Grand Marquis may get stuck in the sand on the beach, but if you're wanting to go ripping down I-4 to Orlando in record time, this may be the supreme ride. People assume you're A) a police man or B) a granny on crack. Either way, they move over and get outta the way.

I still wouldn't own one though.

We caught our outbound flight just in time. Security was much less dramatic than last week when they discovered a six inch SPIKE in my laptop case! The lady ran it through the gizmo and said "Sir...do you have a nail in your computer bag?"

"Uh, no."

"Are you sure?!? 'Cause I see a nail."

"No you don't . There is no nail in that bag."


"How strange. Well, let's take stuff out."

She pulls out an iPod. a Razr. a Powerbook. an iBook. a digital camera. a photocard reader. chargers for everything under the sun. four books, two moleskines, two G2 Pilots and a dvd. and a six inch nail.

I stare.

"Sir, this is a nail."

Swallow hard. "Yes ma'a'm. I'm sorry. I have no idea....uh, I have children...."

She smiles and says "I'll just keep it."

"You sure can....". I bolt for the plane.

This afternoon, our first rental SUV smelled like an odd combination of cigerrette smoke and wet dog. It apparently had been rented previously by a chain smoking labrador retreiver. They quickly swapped it out with a second Dodge Durango, sans odors, and we were off.

Tomorrow is wedding rehearsal, then the big shindig on Friday....

I do not understand.

We've driven by this business three times in the last two days. I had to stop and take a picture. Rented-to-own wheels and tires?!?!

Would someone 'splain the business model to me here? Eric? Can you say Grandview area franchise?!?!?!?

OK, I'm laughing again.

If emerging is all about the journey, then what do you do when you meet these peeps on the trail? :)

The Emergent Mormon Village

Gary Lamb, full of grace....

Gary Lamb is more gracious than I am. The twelve of you who know of both of us are probably surprised to see me admit that in print, but after today, I have to.

Gary is vacationing in Florida, and like others, cannot take time off his blog. Uh...anyway. Today he referenced something about a blog by people calling themselves the Church Checkup.

In short, the Church Checkup is a person or persons (they speak vaguely of we) that visits churches in Georgia and offers written reviews. Their reviews seem relatively fair, albeit pithy about some things. They seem to go into spasms when people commit the sin of overdressing, but other than that, they talk frankly about the good, bad and the ugly.

So here's where Gary is more gracious than I am. After their mostly-good review of Gary's church, Ridgestone, he wrote this about them:

I think this type of review is hard to swallow but so needed. When you are in your church every week, you get to where you miss some of the little things. I sent the review of our service to the whole staff to review.

Gary, you're a good man. You're a kind man. But I'll say it...these guys are yahoos.

From the Yahoo's website:

We are not one, but many. We are not the Borg. If you know who we are, you would know when we're visiting your church. We would also get more hate mail. We have decades of experience in ministry and pastoring, and almost two decades of web design experience.....When will Church Checkup come to my church? You'll never know. If you knew, it wouldn't do any good. I'll use an analogy. (That's where you compare two things that are alike.) If the health inspector told restaurants when he/she was coming to check their place out, all the restaurants would score 100.

Understand that I think all churches need to be reviewed regularly, and I think that having non-attendees is the best way to do it. I have one friend who used to pay people fifty bucks to attend his church and tell them what they thought (the deal is no longer on, so you'll have go go back to giving plasma...). I think it's brilliant. At the same time, this website is nuts, for the following reasons.

Reasons Why I Think This Whole Deal is Whack:

1) No leader worth his salt really takes anonymous criticism. Every leader gets it. Aftere a while, you toss it in the can, because you learn the reason a critic remains anonymous is to mask a) bias or b) fear. Either way, when they sign their name, credibility follows. Checkup Crew, if you really want to help these churches, then tell us you who you are, or simply describe the settings and leave the church names out.

2) It propagates church ala' carte. Reviews are inherently comparisons. "I liked the worship at church xyz, the preaching at church abc, and the children's ministry of pie-are-squared." People who think this way end up nibbling at the banquet table of six or eight places and having to call at least that many churches looking for someone to do their daughter's wedding, then gripe because they have to pay to rent the hall because no one knows them.

3) It makes broad assumptions with little background info. I only know one or two pastors (planters, of course) who are not saddled with at least one detail about their church that they'd change if they could. Anybody can ride into town and announce "The whole deal would work better if they'd have the brains to move the Icon of St. Guadelupe further to the left...". Especially when they don't know that the former pastor purchased said Icon while on his last trip to Portugal, where he suddenly died of the bends on a diving expedition. Long story short, that Icon's not moving and the pastor can't do squat about it. OK, that's an extreme example, but the principle is that these checkup guys have no CLUE how certain things were decided on, or why the light tree is located there, or why they let that bald guy make announcements. In all likelihood, the pastor doesn't like it either. Get off his back. There are factors you can't understand in one visit.

4) It panders to the kingdom of biggest, best and first. Most pastors think their biggest problem is breaking the 200 barrier, or 500 barrier, or 1000 barrier. These things can be fixed with good websites, clever teaching, or great music. Unfortunately, it's often the least of the pastor's problems. We are nearing a day - some would say we're already there - when biggest, best and first means little to nothing. Churches are becoming larger and less effective, both at atrocious rates, and now with the help of an anonymous checkup, they can tweak their performances to become more of both.

5) If they've got 20 years of web design experience, why does their blog look as dorky as mine? Sorry. I couldn't resist. I wonder these things. Also interesting, their sidebar says "Don't complain to us or question us." Yikes. That's pretty strong language from people who won't sign their name.

Granted, I'm in Kansas City, far out of their target zone, and don't have any sort of church that they could review, so maybe that gives me a bit more boldness, but I think these guys are doing more damage than some poor pastor whose website needs help, so I'm sayin' it: These guys are playground bullies wearing ski masks....and my name's on the blog and my email's in my profile.


Of course, we have absolutely no clue who these guys are, so I'm going to guess.

1) A church planter who is touring Georgia with his core group and seriously thinks he's being helpful or
2) A college professor.
2) A former pastor.

If it's #1, woe to the dude, for these things have a way of reciprocating. He is training his peeps to be connoisseurs that he will be forced to cook for soon. If it's #2....it's because those who can't, teach. If it's #3, I'm not even going there.

Grayson learns....

Grayson learns that class is alive and well in Florida. Note what we found in a parking lot...

No Wunnda....

Ever since talking through Song of Solomon chapter 1, Zion has a new phrase.

Whenever his brothers do something slightly goofy, he rolls his eyes and announces "No wunnda the maidens love you...".

End of Day Report

This afternoon found us nosing the Granny Rental south to Ponce DeLeon Inlet for a visit to the tallest lighthouse in all of Florida.

According to the video introduction, it was the second lighthouse on the inlet. The first, back in the early 1800's, sat vacant and unlit for 20 years because the whale tallow that it was designed to burn never actually arrived. Eventually, it fell into the sea from disrepair.

Whatever the case, they did a better job with Lighthouse 2.0, which is still standing.

We spent a good hour walking around, visiting the homes of the keepers and meeting the black and white cat that lives there. The souvenier shop worker was proud to inform us that there has been a black and white cat at the lighthouse for 100 years. A different cat over the years, we presume.

They had some great displays - old ships, the intricate lenses that the lighthouse has used, and restored buildings. None of it held a candle to the climb to the top of the lighthouse.

It should be understood that Kelsey does not like heights (hence her choice of me as a husband). Nevertheless, because a 9 year old boy asked her, she agreed to try to make it to the top - all 206 steps.

Round and round we went, up more flights of stairs than I could count. Kelsey trailed us, moaning softly and assuring us "I'm behind you....".

Of course, we knew she was behind us, because we started first and the stairs were too narrow for her to have passed us without someone having been tossed inward and down lighthouse shaft.

While she was still climbing, the boys and I were walking around the top of the lighthouse, watching sail boarders in the Atlantic. You see her pictured below, laughing nervously at the top of the landing, wondering "How in the world am I going to get down?!?!?"


Before we headed down, however, we talked her into going out on the landing and see how far she'd climbed.

As you can tell by her grip on the door frame, she was thrilled to be there. Way to go, Kelsey!!!

head for the shore...

Jackson and I were goofing in about five feet of water this morning when we had a Visitor. We've seen dolphins every couple of hours since we arrived, but this fin was different - faster, darker, and attached to a shark.

You have never seen two people bail out of the water faster in your life.

It doesn't get much better...

Life doesn't get much better than being towed on a boogie board by your big brother while the family goes on a sundown walk along the beach. ZB got the royal treatment from Jackson as we all went for a hike.





Lessons of the day:

• Little boys wake up early.
• 13 year old boys will sleep until forced to move.
• It is possible, in short order, to bury your rented Grand Marquis to the rear axle in the sands of New Smyrna Beach, forcing one to rely on the kindness of Jeep driving strangers and their two rachet straps to yank you back onto the hard part of the beach.

That's all I'm sayin'.

End of Day Report

Here's the view from the dinner table. We all threw down fish and chips from Crabby Joe's, a fish place teetering precariously out over the ocean on a pier. To either side of the pier, surfer boys were shredding the waves, or trying to. At one point, a dolphin swam among them - it was quite entertaining.

The day was started in the water and building a sandcastle with Zion. Our building efforts were thwarted by starting too close to the surf. We kept taking on water, first in the moat and eventually in the castle itself. Some things have a weird, double-prophetic wring to it. I'm so glad I didn't put Pergo in the castle basement, Eric!

Following that, we retired to our swank seaside apartment for lunch, and then on to what has been described as a must-see (erroneously, might I add): The Daytona Flea Market. The Flea Market is huge and...strange. Think 'state fair', minus the cows and double the carnival weird atmosphere. Funnel Cakes and knock-off Kate Spade bags. Upon exiting the labrynth of booths and buildings, we realized we could not find our car. I know this sounds crazy, but you have to understand we have rented the most nondescript rental in the history of automobiles: A tan Grand Marquis. Who knew they still built these? It's a serious land yacht and lulls surrounding traffic to sleep. It's also hard to find in a vacant parking lot.

Just before we found the car, I was stung by a hornet on the back of the hand. No real reason you need to know this...just giving you the whole story.

Earlier in the day we devised what I believe is one of our better ideas: Rather than book a crazy schedule and force it on the kids, we allotted them each $X and told them that they could do with it what they want, provided the whole family participated (and you couldn't opt out of someone else's choice). Tonight was Gray's night, which led us to Crabby Joes, then Target to pick up a board game, then back to the apartment for some game time. Great choice, Grayson!

We also did a little boogie-boarding in the high tide tonight. Being a little short on boogie myself, it was quite a chore. At one point, the Perfect Storm somewhere off the coast of Africa sent the Mother of All Waves headed our way. I paddled out to greet it and KAWHAAAAM!, it sent me reeling. Somewhere out there in eight feet of water, there are six alternating impressions in the sand on the bottom: My face, my rear, my face, my rear, my face, and yes, my rear. I have been sand blasted at both ends.

To my pastoring buddies - I know you think it's novel to do church in a movie theater, but any doof can do services outdoors. we're already contemplating attending here on Sunday - it's just down the street and we can go in our jammies, I think. "Worshiping Outdoors Since 1953!" they claim. I'll keep you posted.

Muscle Man Dominates Beach

(AP-Daytona Beach, FL) A muscle man was seen roaming the beaches in the Daytona area, kicking sand in the face of 98lb weaklings and shouting at seagulls. He was trailed by two adults - a trendy-looking woman and bewildered bald man. They all appeared to be having a wonderful time.

---

Hence begins our first full day in Daytona. Traditionally, I have not been a beach person. I am a North Dakotan. One can live a full life as a North Dakotan and never ever see the coast of our continent. I trace this back to the fact that most of the people who settled the upper plains states in the late 1800's were poor immigrants from Russia, Germany, Norway and other parts of Europe that make North Dakota winters seem managable. These immigrants crossed the Atlantic in barely-seaworthy boats, usually sleeping in the steerage compartment, and going to the top deck only to wretch their hardtack overboard.

Once these seasick families arrived in NYC, they immediately high tailed it to the center of the continent, muttering "Eich nyet nedder agin!", which loosely translated, means "I will never again return to the sea."

And here I am. Breaking a vow three generations old. I realized as we wandered the sand last night, that I have become the figurative 39 year old guy with a wife and three (soon four!) kids who goes to Florida for a week. I have absent-mindedly achieved icon status.

I don't care. Surf's up!

the view from here

We're not in Kansas (City) anymore...you're looking at the view I'm looking at, except I'm smelling the sea salt and you're wasting bandwidth surfing blogs.

This is the view from the deck of our loaned condo, no zoom necessary. I could throw a stone in the ocean from our deck. Or an empty IBC root beer bottle. Of course, either of those would take effort and I'm not about to waste any.

We went for a family walk on the beach today. ZB is a born sheller. The big boys are exploring the world of body surfing. Kelsey and I are just plain happy to be here. We've got the boys. We've got the waves. We've got WiFi. It's a recreational triumvirate that is tough to match.

with this ring...

I am looking forward to this vacation - it's some needed time with the fam...but also, I'm looking forward to doing a wedding while we're gone. This one proves to be a great one, based on the following:

• Amazing organization. I just received a spreadsheet/timeline with more detail than NASA uses when launching a shuttle. No surprises. I love it.

• The music looks killer, both for the ceremony and the reception. These folks have class. More Nat King Cole, less Billy Cyrus.

• The couple was very clear about what scriptures they wanted and chose great ones. Makes it much easier.

• I just finished my portion of the ceremony and it includes biblical reference to advice from brothers-in-law and one-time use of the phrase 'pan-historic', which I thought was an original term, although having just googled it, I now discover that it's been used before, 2,150,000 times. There is nothing new under the sun, eh?

One thing I don't have is a nifty little black prayer book like the hoity-toity high church types. Usually I use my journal.

I just realized I'll need to dig out an old one to tape my notes into. My current Moleskine sports two white stickers on it's black cover. One is a Mac logo, the other is pictured here.

It does not promote confidence in one's wedding officiant.

Modern Day Miracles...

This may not mean anything to you...but it would if you've seen our garage through this construction effort.

After five hours' work yesterday, our garage is now clean enough that one could nearly park a car inside the garage. Once someone picks up a few things, there will be room to do so. In the meantime, there is definetely room for one of these babies, so if you're so inclined, help a brother out....

ready for takeoff

This morning, Kelsey and I had our third home study interview for the adoption. Our first two interviews were separate; this one we did together. All in all, it wasn't too difficult...simply confirming the old saying that if you tell the truth, it's easier to keep your story straight.

The original plan was for the home visit to take place in a few weeks, pushing the finalizing of our home study to mid September or later. Today, things took a twist as the woman doing the study announced she could do it sooner. Like, Wednesday. This means the home study could be done by August 26th, putting us in a position to receive our baby....oh, like, fast.

Wow.

This all became remarkably real to me today. It's been real all along, but today we kicked in the afterburners. I will soon be a father of four. Four children in the rear view mirror (that is, if our rear view mirror would stay in it's place...it falls off). I'm jazzed.

The Signs of the Times

The following is a nearly word-for-word transcript of a conversation between a rapidly aging man and his uber-hip wife, as they dined on fine food at this exquisite establishment this afternoon.

HER: We need to buy you a beach hat. (They were about to leave for a most-expenses-paid, much needed family vacation.)

HIM: I know the hat I want. I have purchased the exact same hat twice before, in 2002 and 2004 before Burning Man. I always buy it at Walmart.

This causes uber-hip wife to begin laughing uproariously, which in turn encourages their three children to began to belly laugh as well.

HIM: What?!?!

HER: I'm sorry, but it's just that when you said that, you sounded like a really old man!!!

---
editors note: it was later discovered that Walmart no longer carries 'the hat'. The old man is not quite sure what he will do.

Pray For the Republik of South Dakota

South Dakota is so repressive that even standing is silence is now extremist behavior.

Silent Treatment - KDLT-TV - MSNBC.com: "Kate Looby says, 'This is extremist behavior and I don't think the people of South Dakota are really comfortable with that kind of protest.'"

kelsey's on a roll

I'm sitting in the back of FSM classroom 5, listening to Kelsey teach her second breakout of the day, this one on 'Cultivating a Prophetic Lifestyle'. She is teaching like someone who is not terribly concerned about being invited back. :) I love it.

My favorite quote so far (paraphrased): "So, you were looking for a Level II Prophetic Course, then go lay on your side and cook your dinner over excrement. That's the Level II prophetic course. Maybe we should just master the sermon on the mount first, huh folks?"

Watch for the mp3 on randyandkelsey.com in a day or so.

Steve Jobs: B- Speaker

I've become somewhat of a student of speaking - not just preaching, but public speaking. Preaching is a much, much more complex calling and execution than speaking is, yet many good preachers never think about public speaking. They're effective in their calling, but could be much more so.

For a long time, I've heard rave reviews of Steve Jobs' presentations. I finally broke down and watched the webcast of his presentation at the World Wide Developers Conference 06.

I will confess, I'm a prime target for Jobs. I was a PC-to-Mac convert just 3 years ago. Today, there are eight pieces of Apple hardware in my home. I am excited about Leopard. I go to the Mac store just for fun. I would be a prime candidate to love Job's speaking style. Surprisingly, I thought it stunk.

Based on this WWDC06 presentation, I have to say this: Steve Job's presentation skills are highly overrated. His delivery is jerky, he paces the stage like he wants to make a potty stop, and his slides are so dead-on perfect that it's obvious that he's been giving this speech in his sleep for a week. His presentation has the coolest bells and whistles but it's completely void of soul. If this is business presentation at it's best, then business presentations are in unbelievably sad shape.

One of the guys I've heard brag about Jobs is his former employee, Guy Kawasaki. Kawasaki has gone on to become an entity in his own right and a highly sought after speaker. I have watched a couple of his speeches and think he's twice the speaker that his old boss is.

Kawasaki manages a clever balance of being completely full of himself and yet self deprecating at the same time. He seems entirely at ease in front of his audience. He makes you think he's poking fun of himself, even when he's poking fun at you. I recently watched him on a webcast from a business conference - he went 10 minutes over his alloted time. The organizers were having a cow, yet Kawasaki taunted them and the audience cheered - they wanted him to go longer! Even if you don't understand every nuance of his humor, you want to go have coffee with him.

Jobs, on the other hand, makes you want to avoid him. He's the guy who raised his hand with the answer in every class you ever took. He is precise to a fault. He's Alex Trabec minus the suit. He has the answers, but he seems to enjoy it so much that you resent having to ask him for them.

Most people don't think of themselves as public speakers, but they should. If you make an announcement at the office, you're a public speaker. If you tell a story at the Thanksgiving diner table, you're a public speaker. Here are a few things I try to remember when I'm in front of people....

Laugh at yourself. They're going to laugh at you, so join them. It takes the awkwardness out of the situation. There is nothing as comfortable as a dork who knows he's a dork. This was a great value at the Vineyard - teaching there once in a while helped me practice.

Their imagination is your best tool. Leave key details out of the story, but give them enough to work with so they can fill in the blanks. The best person in the world at this is Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion. It's not what he tells you that is riviting - it's what he leads you to imagine.

Get comforable. Some speakers lean forward - not physically, but in attitude. Others lean back. Forward-leaners seem to be convincing you of what they think. Backward-leaners are generally telling you what they know. Forward-leaners have a vested interest in you agreeing with them. Backward leaners are going to know what they knew and believe it just the same when they get on the airplane to go home.

Feel it. You can't move people only by information. It takes emotion, and most emotion can be leveraged to move people in a healthy way. On the first anniversary of the September 11 attacks, I sketched out a memorial service at VCC, five speaking segments based on the five stages of grief, each separated by a live song by Robbie Reider and the band. . Three speakers each took one section, while Sr Pastor Dave Workman took two. The afternoon of the event, they asked if I'd step in and take Anger. I did - with more raw emotion than I realized that I carried for the event. A number of people told me later that it was a turning point for them in the program because they felt something that allowed them to go on and find resolve.

This is all probably more information than you asked for, but if you're still reading, think about it. You might not ever be a Guy Kawasaki, but you can be a better speaker than you are with just a little discipline.

7:00pm Arrive at the conference....tell Shelley "lemme know if you need anything..."

7:40pm Shelley 'needs' a malt from Sonic. Well, not exactly needs, but I did offer and so she asked.

7:45pm Find Shelley's car in the parking lot because my truck is parked in Idaho, er, at a remote lot.

7:50pm Leave parking lot...realize I have no cash. Drive to bank.

8:00pm Arrive at bank in Price Chopper parking lot. ATM is down, two men with big guns working feverishly on it look at me as if I'm some postmodern Jesse James (the crook, not the grease monkey.)

8:05pm Go to the bank inside Price Chopper. Withdraw $10 from my checking account. Remember that I have some money in my Paypal account that I want to move to our checking account, so I withdraw $400 with my Paypal debit card.

8:10pm Realize that I am standing in Price Chopper with $400 in my hand. Note that it's probably the first time this has been done in this particular Price Chopper without some sort of pharmaceutical deal going on. Bolt for the car. Arrive at car to realize I can't find the key. It's not in the car. It's not at the ATM. Suddenly remember that I'm looking for a wad of keys and Shelley gave me one single key. Find it in my pocket.

8:15pm Jump in car, pull out....notice truck with a bumper sticker that says "It's a Child, not a Choice..." followed by a verse from the Quran. Flip out. Stop car. Grab phone to go snap a picture. As I'm approaching the car, holding cell phone at arms length, I notice the car is not vacant. I stuff phone in my pocket and nonchalantly walk back to the car that I abandon in the middle of the lane.

8:20pm Arrive at Sonic, order malt, leave for conference center.

8:25pm Return to conference center to find that the worship is over and I need to walk onstage almost immediately to make a pitch for Omega.

Gun Club Minutes

The Royal Order of the Gun Club met this morning at the regular spot. Topics covered:

What to do if your wife high centers the truck
Minor league baseball, pros and cons
Loux's amazing adoption story
Hurricane season - when is it?

Meeting adjourned.

a night to remember.

Kelsey said a lot of what I'm feeling, so I'll just blog what I saw....click on the photos to see'm up close and big.

One highlight she did not mention was the oddball auction, where you could pay to see Allen Hood deliver a pizza, Lenny LaGuardia cook you breakfast, or take ownership of photos of Dwayne Roberts and I...with hair (D had quite the mullett).

Allen's auction morphed a little to the point that you may be surprised when and where he delivers. Lenny's grew to include Derek Loux in an Elvis suit. At one point, it got so squirrelly that Derek was actually bidding to see himself in an Elvis suit. The confusion around that drove the bidding up to $800. I am not exaggerating.

The Venue
The room was big...and empty, to start with. It quickly filled up with 130+ people. The vibe was great, thanks to Shawn Blanc's tunes. Big heap thanks to he and Anna for being there and being such fun. Now go give the guy a few bucks for a phone.

T2: The Axemen Cometh.

IHOP guitar czars Tim Cone & Tim Reimer were out in full force. Shout outs to Tim Reimer for making a coffee run to the Broadway Cafe. You guys are right. That stuff rocks.

Steeno on Cake

Brent "Bring on the Teens" Steeno, indicating by a show of fingers exactly how many pieces of cake he has had to go get for KJ. I am not buying it.

Two great smiles.

Kelsey and her walking buddy, Linda Hackett. Linda is also IHOP's latest grandma. No kidding. And Kels looked so fine!

Yours truly hanging with Doug and Deanna, owners of The Hidden Thickett in Grandview. The created the most phenomenal floral arrangements, of which I have zero photos. Oh well. Photos wouldn't have done them justice anyway.

Todd Laughry, sporting a playa hat and a custom t-shirt imprinted with a photo of Kelsey and I from...1996?!?! I looked like I stole Bill Cosby's sweater....


For reasons clear to none of us, Seth Parks showed up wearing a bad rug. You laugh, but he made it work for him. His doting wife, Erin, stayed right by his side. This is love, friends.

I am somewhere beyond tired, and completely overwhelmed at the goodness of God, who blew out my "best case scenerio goal" by about double. Thanks to all who gave so graciously and served so hard tonight. We love you very much. Thank you for embracing the spirit of adoption.

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight*

Tonight is the big adoption bash....a big ol' celebration with 128 close friends. If you hear music pumping late into the night, that would be us. Turn it up to 'leven, Shawn!

*with apologies to Phil Collins fans everywhere.

Crank up the Wayback Machine...

I was going through some old photos tonight and found this beauty. Ain't he a doll? Of course, he's thirteen now, but back then he must have been about nine, and pretty stinkin' happy about something. Hi Jackson!

And why was I searching through photos? To come up with my end of the auction block for Wednesday night's Adoption Benefit dinner. Yes, race fans, you will be able to procure photos of myself and Dwayne Roberts...with hair. We've got a few more surprises for you too - and some killer food and tunes!

See you at Californos!

In the interest of fairness...

In regards to my earlier post on the Greg Boyd article in the New York Times, I received the following comment from Eric (no, not the singing handyman; a whole 'nother Eric):

Do you think the NYT would give the WHOLE story? Dr. Boyd preached these sermons in April of 2004. You can find them on the church website and archive. It might be a good idea to respond to what Dr. Boyd ACTUALLY said and not what the NYT quotes him as saying. The first message is "Taking America Back for God" http://www.whchurch.org/content/page_274.htm in case you are interested.

In the interest of fairness, I downloaded the audio that Eric referred to and listened to it last night, albeit in 3 sections, while working on benefit dinner programs, and before drifting off to sleep. Dr. Boyd probably deserves more attention than that, but I doubt he listens to my sermons front to back either. I'm just saying I didn't have the time to sit down with a notebook and jot down thougths as he taught. Nevertheless, I observed the following:


1) Regarding "what he ACTUALLY said..." per Eric, random capitalization his.
Not all the quotes in the NYT article were in the message. Of course, the NYT didn't say that, and in at least one of the quotes that I pulled, they stated it was in a Q&A session. No smoking gun here, but no absolution either.

2) Dr. Boyd seemed pretty ticked.
Not that this is good or bad. It's just something I observed. I expected a more calculated, cool approach and didn't find it. He actually presents with a fair amount of gusto to an often cheering crowd. This is Minneapolis. Norweigens don't cheer much. It doesn't seem like the hostile crowd the NYT suggested.


3) He presents a compelling picture of the kingdom.
He does a fantastic job of laying out the kingdom of God as compared to the kingdom of this world. I would have said it differently in a few places, but then again he's preaching to thousands and I'm....uh, writing a blog to....?


4) He doctors history a little.
In comparing Rwanda and the first Iraqi war, he refers to Iraq as (paraphrased here, but pretty close) "A place where a couple dozen people had been raped or beaten...". While none of us are arguing that Rwanda was anything other than a bloodbath, I would guess there are a "couple dozen" Kurds or Kuwatis who would have a different perspective of Iraq back then. And now.

5) He paints his adversaries with broad strokes.
It would seem from this message that I heard, that if one is not silent on politics or issues, than they are sign carrying, raving lunatics who yell mean things at small children and kick puppies. I didn't feel like I fit in either camp, and had I been there, might have felt compelled to just keep quiet for fear of being lumped in with the looney bin. So much for the open minded approach.


6) He appears to ride the fence on using legislation for righteousness sake.
He makes a comment about not being able to legislate people to do the right things, yet values the role of legislation to protect our rights (in other words, you can't make someone like you, but you can pass laws to make them quit smacking you with a two by four). He recognizes the value of that, but doesn't seem to extend that right to the unborn. The old adage "you can't legislate morality" comes to mind - because it's true - but you can legislate from a moral perspective.

While I don't feel bad quoting the NYT article without having heard the sermon, I'm glad Eric sent me the link, and I am sure I still don't have the full perspective as if I'd heard the whole series. Nevertheless, from what I heard, I didn't change my mind.

Taking Boyd's arguements to the fullest extent (not much further, if any further, than he takes them, because he is interestingly silent on how the church should react in these cases), we would reinact the crimes of passivity the church committed during the civil rights movement of the 60's and the Nazi takeover of Germany in the 30's.

Again, I feel like I've been told "Please be seated, Reverend Bonhoeffer. Der Furer is about to speak." It is Christlike to love unconditionally. It is not Christlike to watch the innocent abused or slain. I suggest that there is a reasonable course of action that embraces both of those realities.

Eric to the rescue...

Now that the cabinets and tile are installed, it was time to run the water line for the refrigerator ice maker. This would entail going through the bottom of two cabinets, behind the stove, through another cabinet and a lazy suzan to the sink cabinet.

I thought I had it all figured out...drill a little hole in the side of each cabinet, low and near the back, and run the line. Fully aware that I was drilling holes in my brand new cabinets, I took care to measure each one and was quite pleased when it all worked....then reality set in.

For whatever reason, I have 1/8 of an inch of clearance for the stove....meaning the opening for the stove is only 1/8 inch wider than the stove. That means 1/16th of an inch on the side...and no room for a water line to snake along either side.

I called my buddy Eric. Eric can do anything. No, let me rephrase that. Eric will not tell you that he can't do something. Either way, he's handy to have around. He gives me confidence and lies to me about my abilities. Everyone should have an Eric. I reach him on the phone and tell him my delima. I was not impressed with his first suggestion.

"Forget it. Just don't have an ice maker."

It should be noted that for years, we have owned a fridge with an ice maker and were unable to connect it in any of the last 3 homes we lived in. The previous fridge would make this grinding sound, attempting to make ice, every 30 minutes or so. I came to view it as mocking me..."Hey goofball - you got no WATERLINE!!!"

I reply: "Eric, I have just completely remodeled my kitchen. I have torn it down to bare studs and pipe. If I can't figure out a water line, I am a major moron."

"Right."

Finally, he cooked up a suggestion - cut an inch channel out of the drywall behind the stove, run the water line out the back of the cabinet, down the chanel, and back into the next cabinet. It worked. They boy's pure genius, I tell you.

Now if I can just get him to quit singing along with my phone ring tone. Chuck, come home!

stuck on a verse

I'm hopelessly stuck on a verse in Daniel. Well, perhaps not hopelessly stuck. Maybe desperately, hopefully stuck is a better way to say it. And it's partially the fault of Jim Kouzes & Barry Posner.

I've mentioned before that I periodically read parts of their Leadership Challenge - a great book to make leaders think about leading (something we all do far too infrequently). Much of the book centers around pondering one's own best leadership experience and then gleaning lessons from that time in your own life, with questions like "What did it feel like?" and "How did you respond to conflict in this time?"

It's impossible to get anything out of the book without first determining your personal best season of leadership, and once you land on that, the applications are voluminous. I've been pondering my own personal best season, and against that backdrop, I run smack into Daniel 10:7 & 8b.


I, Daniel, was the only one who saw the vision; the men with me did not see it, but such terror overwhelmed them that they fled and hid themseleves. So I was left alone...

Daniel's encounter must have been terifying to the others - even though they didn't really see it. Something about the look in his eye, the wildness of the moment and the reality that they didn't really understand caused them to run for the hills. Then, with the hangers-on gone, the Angel touched him and began to lay out a vision that would span 3 chapters on paper and centuries in time - some which is yet to be fulfilled. The vision was huge - and Daniel saw it alone.

I'm fasting and praying for such a vision. Not necessarily some sort of transcendental encounter (although it certainly would make for interesting blogging) but a vision from God that scares those around me. My personal best times of leadership were wild moments - times when I had a certain look in my eye...and that look drove away more than one person who liked the idea of vision but couldn't stomach the reality of the vision I was having.

Give me vision, God. Even if I'm left alone. I'd rather see Your reality and launch towards it with all my strength than mutter along with the masses in complacent codependency.

Kitchen Lost...Kitchen Regained

Monday, the new cabinets were installed. They look phenomenal - maple spice, for you cabinet fans, with a dark oak island. In 3 weeks we'll have countertops and a sink right in the kitchen like many Americans.

The last two evenings, my buddy Eric came over to help me lay the tile. Actually, if he says he helped me, he is being very generous. I cut a few tile, carried supplies and grunted my approval at his arrow-straight tile lines. He did 90 percent of the work, although 30 percent was spent on that one tile by the door. :) Due to his generous contribution of time and know-how, I hereby dub it the Cornhusker Memorial Kitchen. Let us pause for a minute of silence....

We grout tomorrow, and then move the fridge back in the new fridge cubby hole and install the stove. Whoohooo!

Why not Greg Boyd?

BrianKim forwarded me this article from the NYT this morning. In short, it talks about Greg Boyd's sermon series from the last presidential election...

"...in which he said the church should steer clear of politics, give up moralizing on sexual issues, stop claiming the United States as a “Christian nation” and stop glorifying American military campaigns."

Boyd goes on to describe being at an evangelical 4th of July observation where he sees an image of fighter jets in conjuction with the cross. He talks about his conviction that Christians should not pursue 'power over' by controlling governments, passing legislation or fighting wars, but they should pursue 'power under' by winning peoples hearts.

While I, too, have winced at the association of Christianity and might-makes-right (the fighter jets/cross graphic would have been a perfect opportunity to sneak out and peel the fish off the bumper), I think Boyd reacts to a genuine conviction by throwing the baby out with the bathwater, distancing himself from any sort of hot button issue in an attempt to position himself as a kinder, gentler breed of Evangelical.

"More rational than your father's evangelicalism by not taking a position on anyting!"

The article goes on...

He said Christians these days were constantly outraged about sex and perceived violations of their rights to display their faith in public.

“Those are the two buttons to push if you want to get Christians to act,” he said. “And those are the two buttons Jesus never pushed.”

Uh, Jesus never addressed sex? What about purity? Did Jesus need to draw a chart? Perhaps Jesus never said anything about Janet Jackson's wardrobe misfunction, but certainly he addressed self worth. Surely you've found the passages in the New Testament that speak of modesty. There are also a few in there about lust.

The article describes a Q&A time in which one of his parishoners asks a great question:

“So why NOT us? If we contain the wisdom and grace and love and creativity of Jesus, why shouldn’t we be the ones involved in politics and setting laws?”

That is the million dollar question, kids. Why not us? I'm not advocating preaching a political party or even propagandic voter guides, but neither am I ready to preach a gospel of "lay down and take it." One of the genuine critiques of the civil rights moment was that most of the church was silent. Thirty years before that, the Greg Boyds of Germany preached a gospel of power under while the Nazi's exerted power over.

"Please be seated, Reverend Bonhoeffer. Der Furer is about to speak."

Here's the kicker for me..he responds:

“I don’t think there’s a particular angle we have on society that others lack. All good, decent people want good and order and justice. Just don’t slap the label ‘Christian’ on it.”

Greg, if you don't think Christ living within you gives you a particular angle on society, what are you doing every Sunday morning? Why would you stand and preach "I have no particular angle."

The very essence of preaching is to declare a reality that is counter to the spirit of the age. What Boyd seems to be advocating is to stand on the street corner holding a blank sign because we have nothing to say.

Fore

Oh man. I'm sitting in the prayer room, where today's 6am meeting is dedicated to praying for the marketplace. Each week, we focus on one Christian businessperson, praying for God's hand on their lives.

Today, the gentleman they are praying for is from Israel, where he owns (I am not making this up) a "Texas Minigolf and Deli". When they announce this, we all chuckle at the thought of it. I leaned over to Dan Dodd, Assistant Events Commando, and ask "I wonder if it's kosher?"

"Of course...it's in Israel." He replies.

I say, "Not the Deli - the golf course."

Without missing a beat, Dan says "It depends on how you slice it."

This is, in all likelihood, the worst joke I have heard in some time. My respect for Dan has now skyrocketed.

Thanks a TON Greg...

Now I want a pair...check'm out: Spectacles from Urban Spectacles of Wood

Dwayne Roberts' Hires New Assistant

Some weeks ago, Dwayne Roberts' trusty aide-de-camp, Jesika Willard, announced she was resigning to pursue some other things.

The poor girl's chair barely got cool when her workspace was commandeered by the 'kirky' Shawn Blanc.

I'm trying to picture Shawn rushing in with cup in hand, announcing "Your coffee, Mr. Roberts....".