note to self

A tan Mercury Grand Marquis may get stuck in the sand on the beach, but if you're wanting to go ripping down I-4 to Orlando in record time, this may be the supreme ride. People assume you're A) a police man or B) a granny on crack. Either way, they move over and get outta the way.

I still wouldn't own one though.

We caught our outbound flight just in time. Security was much less dramatic than last week when they discovered a six inch SPIKE in my laptop case! The lady ran it through the gizmo and said "Sir...do you have a nail in your computer bag?"

"Uh, no."

"Are you sure?!? 'Cause I see a nail."

"No you don't . There is no nail in that bag."

"How strange. Well, let's take stuff out."

She pulls out an iPod. a Razr. a Powerbook. an iBook. a digital camera. a photocard reader. chargers for everything under the sun. four books, two moleskines, two G2 Pilots and a dvd. and a six inch nail.

I stare.

"Sir, this is a nail."

Swallow hard. "Yes ma'a'm. I'm sorry. I have no idea....uh, I have children...."

She smiles and says "I'll just keep it."

"You sure can....". I bolt for the plane.

This afternoon, our first rental SUV smelled like an odd combination of cigerrette smoke and wet dog. It apparently had been rented previously by a chain smoking labrador retreiver. They quickly swapped it out with a second Dodge Durango, sans odors, and we were off.

Tomorrow is wedding rehearsal, then the big shindig on Friday....


Jeff Noble said...

Ok, between you and Scott Adams... I think all you need to do now is learn to draw? Funny stuff.

Randy Bohlender said...

Scott Adams is hillarious. I just have weird experiences.

Elizabeth Kosorski said...

I almost peed my pants..."chain smoking Labrador....hahahaha"