As way of introduction for today's letter, it is important for the reader to understand that I grew up in rural North Dakota (yes, that is a redundancy, but I mean really rural. Uber-rural, if you please.
Since leaving, I've sort of lost touch with most of my friends, classmates, etc. Last week, I got an email from a woman who I had known from a church youth group and later went to college with. She shall remain nameless, unless the right sum is paypaled to me, in which case I will sing like a bird.
Anyway, we hadn't talked in years, so it was fun to catch up on life through a series of emails. She asked if I missed North Dakota and said she wouldn't want to live anywhere else. In explaining why, she wrote the following:
It was a good day hunting. Actually shot a coyote this
morning off my deck, standing in snow with no shoes on. Yep
barefoot shot in an inch and a half of snow. He was was
running away about 150-200 yards out. It was awesome. My
husband was in the shower and he's like "What are you
shooting now?"
And there, friends, is why we can sleep safely at night....because we know whatever apocolypse is coming, Canada will never invade the US. Standing there, at the border, they will be met by well armed North Dakotans, barefoot in an inch and a half of snow, who are out hunting coyotes.
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8 comments:
I have a friend who shot a deer from his back porch while talking on the phone. The closest international border is Indiana, seperated by the Wabash river. Never fear So. Illinoisans, your catfish supply is safe from those pesky Hoosiers..
My husband once tried to shoot a fox from our back deck, I watched in horror as that fox snatched our chickens, one by one right from our back yard. He missed with the first three shots and then finally went out into the back yard and nailed it. Now, my husband really is a good shot, he was just responding to my hysterical screams! Being a Hoosier myself I would have to say we are not pesky, and we aren't particularly fond of catfish!
OK, these confessions are a little disconcerting to me.
ok, i need to clarify some ancestory here. i was born in michigan to a man and a woman that i call dad and mom. mom is from new jersey, and dad is from southern indiana. so i am 1/2 hoosier and 1/2 whatever people from new jersey are called. i have never hunted, but am invited every year by my brother in law, a native so. illinoisan. my dad was a river rat, meaning that he loved to be down by the river, not in a van, but in a cabin on stilts. these are the buildings that you see in the news when the wabash and white rivers swell. this is also my only picture of indiana. it is a known fact that the favorite food of a river rat, next to hush puppies, is catfish. with that said, i want to apologize for lumping all hosiers into this catagory. it is a small sub culture of a wonderful state that has great corn and soy beans. the one thing that i enjoy most about indiana is notre dame, i mean IU..go hoosiers!
one last thing...the sub culture can be somewhat pesky to so illinoisans, a group of people that i am quite fond of. a group that my wife from. what are your thoughts on kentucky?
thank you randy for letting me commandeer your comments :)
I forgive you Chuck, and have to ask your forgiveness because I am not really from Indiana, really and truely I am a So. California beach bum. I only moved to the Hoosier state because we had to choose between Indiana, Ohio and Kentucky and I liked Indiana much better, it didn't seem as strange as Ohio, but not as friendly as Kentucky. My husbands family is from Ky., Dog Walk Kentucky to be exact! So THAT my friends is one of the reasons we shoot at wildlife from our deck!
This is the strangest comment thread this side of Gary Lamb.
Based on that description of our nearest neighbours to the south, I am not sure we would even want to invade y'all. I'm thinking we need to beef up security ourselves to keep folks like that right where they are :)
Increasing security for the Canadians would mean adding another layer of block to the snow fort.
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