near death experience
Ok, so the awning was full of rain water....like way full. Being Tim Taylor incarnate, I say "Don't worry, Honey! I'll just push it up and let it run out." This may take a little imagination, but it's worth the mental picture. I stand on a chair, steadying myself by grabbing the lower end of the awning. Pushing up in the middle of the awning causes the water to begin to dribble off, mostly onto me and the chair I'm standing on. As it reaches torrent level, the chair slips from underneath me and shoots my feet straight out. I make like a ninja and grab the awning with both hands, pulling it completely taut and ensuring that every last drop of water comes straight down on my head.
The only good part is that the awning didn't rip and I was able to lower myself to the ground without any further drama....
There are certain things better left to the professionals.