4.18.2006

midnight rescue run...

A few days ago, my friend Jeff Oakes, his beloved son Jeffery P., and Bob the Soundguy started a rocket run from Johnson City, TN to McPhereson, KS to pick up a 40 channel soundboard. He told me they were driving straight through and would stop and say hello...

Note to readers: It is a 12-15 hr drive from Johnson City to KCMO. McPhereson is another couple of hours beyond us.

On the first approach, they ended up coming through at 5am so they didn't call. Might has well have; I was up. They called again on the way through the OTHER direction at 1:30pm yesterday, but I was in a meeting. They stopped at my house to drop off some hats for my boys and (I suspect) eat a piece of cake (although Jeffy is in denial on this point.)

We spoke briefly at 5pm - they were still in town visiting other friends but fully expected to start the Cannonball Run back to Tennessee (and still hadn't really slept except for powernaps on the road). Then, at 10pm, my phone rang again. Herein, I will provide for you, the reader, an approximate transcript. Jeff's words are in italics to signify exhaustion.

Randy...Randy....our car broke down....problems....

Jeff? Where are you?

Uh...I see a Home Depot. An old junky Sears. Bad neighborhood. Lots of people talking to themselves....

Where? St. Lous?

Corner of 87th & Red Bridge Road

(Note to readers: These two are in Kansas City but never actually intersect)

You're still in KC?

Uh...yeah....car broke down...I see a Home Depot. An old junky Sears....

Do you need me to come get you?

Yes....cold....tired....must get car....towed.....

Using my supersleuth skills, I figured out where they were and raced over. I was there in 10 minutes and hauled their nearly lifeless bodies into the truck, along with the aforementioned 40 channel soundboard. They had been working on the car while watching for snipers or crazy people from the local House of Pancakes.

This morning, refreshed by real sleep and some bagels, they are once again trying to get the car fixed.

Never a dull moment.

9 comments:

jen said...

Okay, that is really, really funny. I miss Bob the Sound Guy.
How did you figure out where they were?

Mikie3toes said...

I saw Jeff yesterday. Right before He and company headed over to your house. The "He said" they were headed back to Tennessee. I saw him agin several times today. It was funny how he had that 'deer in the headlights' look as he explained there was forty other cars ahead of his at the dealership.

Randy Bohlender said...

I found them by triangulating their position based on sattelite echos generated by a McGyvered microwave oven strapped to my neighbor's TiVo.

Actually, the description screamed Bannister Road. Crazy people at the House of Pancakes was the clincher for me.

Sean The Red said...

Thank God for the spiritual goft of supersleuthing. Thank about what life would be like without that.

Can you please send my a microwave oven like that? I saw one on ebay, b ut it was made by a community of one legged teenage girls in Bolivia (all named Sadie), and the shipping costs were too high. VERY SUSPICIOUS.

Randy Bohlender said...

Sadie is my buddy on MySpace. I will handle transaction for you. Western Union only, please. Did I mention that my father was a high ranking government official in Kenya?

Sean The Red said...

I will send the money right away. I plan to fund prayer missionaries with the $20,000,000 that is being held for you. When you get it released from the Swis bank, please sned me a money order for my 35%.

Regards,

Sean (Son of Sadie)

Randy Bohlender said...

I have authorized my attorney in London to wire you the full amount. When it arrives, please convert to Gold and place in a Black Rock City safety deposit box where one of my associates will receive it. Then, repeat earlier prayer 10 times to St. Jude and publish in a local newspaper. Only then will you receive your prize package.

Sean The Red said...

This is starting to sound weird. I got a better offer from that dude in Nigeria.

I think God is leading me to stop working with you, and that the Nigerian guy is really his will for the prayer movemtn. Thanks for sharing, but I think you are too unstable and flaky for me.

Randy Bohlender said...

Before you jump ship for that Nigerian guy, check his eBay feedback rating. I bought a case of XXL women's nylons from him and when they arrivle, they were XXL highway pylons. He claimed it was a translation error but refused to refund my money. I got him good though because the check I mailed him was bogus. Serves the theif right, I say.