thoughts on emptiness
There is a nuanced difference between vacant and blank...not so much in the strictest, Merriam-Webster sense, but out around the edges, out where ideas fray into feelings. Out where the sentences start with "if" and "why", a lot of words that would seemt to be synonyms separate into a verbal fuzz.
That place - where we're not reacting so much out of fact as faulty intuition - is a bad place to make any sort of judgement call. Not because things aren't as bad as they seem, because sometimes they really are, but because sometimes we're not as bad as we seem. Sometimes, our impossible is God's 'what if'.
Today, I feel vacant. Empty. Too weak to generate buzz and too rigid to resonate it from others. I am thirsty, feeble and barren.
God sees me as blank. Fresh. A clean slate. A chalkboard to write on. A walking, talking do-over.
He and I are staring at the same thing this morning with wildy different perspectives. I like His better than mine. I think I'll go with it.