Having learned much and gained little in the last few months, I feel it the time has come for me to withdraw my name from the ballot of all upcoming democratic primaries. Of course, I would like to thank my campaign staff, my family, and the guy who changes oil on my car at Walmart. You are all truly great Americans.
My reasons for dropping out of the race are multitudinous. We were never able to raise sufficent capital, they misspelled my name on the ballot in New Hampshire, and, perhaps most importantly, I am not a democrat. Perhaps we should have seen the handwriting on the wall earlier.
Victory has eluded us like a bull elk eludes the rabid wolf...it seems that life snorted and kicked us in the head. Nevertheless, we will hold our head up high, knowing that what 'is' is a shadow of what 'might have been' if only those who 'were' had a chance to become those who 'are'. Unfortunately, those who 'would' have become those who 'won't' because those who 'can' decided we 'can't'. Additionally, I'd like to apologize for excessive use of random 'punctuation'.
God bless America. Goodnight.