stuff i think

thoughts on balance....

I have balance issues. More accurately, I have issues surrounding the idea of being balanced, because to me, that term has meant "middle of the road", avoiding extremes and minimizing risk. As an example, I once told someone who described themselves as a political moderate that moderates are people who don't want to have to defend a position. All they have to do is scratch their chin, nod their head and mutter "I see your point...". But I'm not talked about moderation right now, I'm talking about balance..and my understanding of balance is changing.

It all started with watching a PBS special some months ago. The show was a documentary on a circus family that had a high wire act. I have never walked a literal high wire (although I've been in some hairy meetings!) but I have imagined that if I were to do so, I would do my best to keep centered directly over the cable. What I learned on that show, however, was very different.

According to the show, at least in the academic sense, staying on the high wire took a long, flexible pole, often weighted on the ends, and a wire-walker who could embrace the weight of both extremes...even leveraging that weight for his own benefit. It wasn't the emphasis on the cable that kept him standing - it was his dual emphasis on the weight at both extremes. Keeping his balance became an excercise in extremism.

With that new understanding, I'm looking for a new kind of balance. This new balance is not just a philosophy...I want to practice the embrace of extremes.

I want a prophetic encounter that reaches to the edges of what I ever could imagine (Frankly, I think God spends time way out beyond that point anyway). I want to balance that with a study of the word that exceeds what I've done in the past, knowing that God wants to give me good things and is willing to show me in His word what it all means.

I want to exhibit extreme trust in God while exerting extreme effort on my part. I want to learn how to pursue Him and rest in Him at the same time.

I want to find balance in grabbing ahold of extremes and feeling the weight of them in my hands - to handle them with confidence, knowing when to lean which way and when to pull back on the bar to allow the weight of what's 'out there' to keep me upright.

I want to walk on the high wire, tuning out the voices to hear the Voice.