stuff i think

an unexpected guest....

On Sunday evening, I posted from the prayer room about waiting on God. Later that night the perception shifted from waiting on Him to something more powerful than I've ever encountered. Staff member Kevin Matthews got up to speak for a few moments and immediately the room grew very still (in a day-and-night context, someone is always coming or going!).

Kevin shared how he'd been gripped by how little we knew about the true fear of the Lord...that God hid Himself purposely because, historically, His full presence and our flesh appear to be pretty incompatable. One thing that really stood out was Kevin pointing out how, for all our rhetoric about desiring the power and form of first century Christianity, that we probably didn't really want all that came with that (two words: Annanias and Saphira...).

What followed could only be described as a holy moment. 'Moment' seems to minimize the impact of it, because it rang in the depths of my soul. It was an encounter that I can only compare to wearing a lead X-ray apron. It was as if a heavy blanket across my shoulders - heavier than any blanket could be, really - but the weight seemed equal across my entire body. I was moved to my core with a small portion of what it means to be in His presence - not the ambient presence that we seem to enjoy any time we worship or view creation - but the sort of presence that makes you want to tie a rope around your waist and ask your friends to stay outside, listening for your footsteps, so they can drag your body out if necessary.

For all of our songs petitioning Him to come, I'm quite sure we have no clue what that would mean. I think the lead apron effect is only a millionth of it, and it's on the very kind extreme of the spectrum.